Monday, July 14, 2008

an unusual experience

I was sitting inside the bus when I felt someone's watching me. At first, I didn't want to look but after 10 mins. I could still feel the stare, so I decided to tell that person that I'm feeling uncomfortable.
I turned and saw a woman, maybe on her early 40's, weeping. She smiled when her eyes met mine. I was for a second, confused. Why would she smile at me? I even looked at my sides to see if the smile was for another passenger. But then I realized that I'm the only passenger on that side of the bus. So, definitely, she's smiling at me. I thought well, she's a woman and didn't look as if she wanted to harass me or something..in fact, she looked rich, dignified, nice...and lonely. So I smiled back. Then I saw tears on her eyes. I was like, "What did I do?". I know my smile isn't great but nor is it scary.
She then stood up and sat beside me. I noticed she had been into something stressful by the way she looked. She held my hand, smiled warmly and asked, "Can you sing the Happy Birthday song for me?"
I was tempted to say, "Excuse me?" For a moment, I thought I was dreaming and the lady was crazy. But I stopped myself. I know the woman had reasons for being like this. I can sense she's so..uhmmm..lonely.
Instead, I just said, "I don't sing well, Ma'am." She squeezed my hand and said, "Please?" Oh, the look on her eyes..pleading for me to sing. It's weird. It was as if...i'm the only one who could do it. I thought to myself, I'm just gonna sing a birthday song! It shouldn't be that hard.
So I sang. And she cried. I wanted to stop singing but she asked me to finish it. It's the first time I sang a birthday song to someone I barely know.
She was just looking at me the whole time. Then hugged me when I finished the song. She hugged me so tight that I couldn't help saying, "I can't breath." She let go of me and said, "Thank you." But before I can say, "You're welcome.", she touched my face.. my cheeks, nose, lips and eyes. She said, "You look like my daughter, Jane."
That's the time I understood everything. I was so insensitive I said, "Really? Where is she now?" I should have gotten it!
She said her daughter died a year ago from heart attack. I said I'm sorry for bringing it up. But I felt goosebumps! Was it just a coincidence that we were on the same bus? Or was it a freak joke? She started telling stories about her daughter that made me feel dizzy. Her daughter and I have a lot in common! She used to play piano and guitar like me..and we both like Canon. She even hummed the piece!
She showed me a picture of Jane and we really look alike. The only difference was our hair. Mine is black and long. Hers was brown, short and curly. And the picture looked old so I'm not sure if we have same eye color. No wonder the woman cried when she saw me. I reminded her of Jane.
Before she left, she kissed me on the forehead and said thank you. What she said last, I just understood few mins ago. She said, "Maybe I'm holding on to her too tight and she couldn't breath." I didn't know what to say. She smiled again and said "Take care, Sarah."
After few mins., I was like Oh my!!!!!! How did she know my name????!!! I sure didn't tell her and I didn't have an ID. And I didn't even know hers.
She's not a ghost.. her hands, I felt it! And her embrace, it was warm...Arghhhhhhh!
No, maybe I'm just over reacting. Maybe I told her my name... Maybe...uhmmm...Surely, there's an explanation for this, right? There should be! Arghhh! This is freaking me out.
Anyway, why am I freaking out? I wasn't harmed. I didn't feel scared. I just felt...weird and unusual. And I did something good. I mean, I made her realize that in order to move on, you have to let go. I'm sure Jane wouldn't like it if her mom's so upset and stuck in loneliness.
And maybe, that's my mission on her or on both of them. Think positive, Sarah! You're still in one piece!

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