Heartache

I've always had a hard time trusting a guy enough to be committed to him. For me they only bring trouble, sleepless nights and heartaches. I used to say, when i fall for someone, he'd be different. He'll show me what real love is. And would never hurt me. That things would fall in their proper places.

Then he came along. I thought he's different. I thought he's the one I've been waiting for all my life...Guess what? I thought it wrong.

Just when I'm ready to give it a try for the first time, setting aside all the warning bells in my mind...defending him from my own self...believing the best of him... feeling sorry for thinking the worst of him, he suddenly says something that really cuts deep in my heart.

Heartache.

I have never felt this way before, this is something I've been avoiding all my life. Guess I couldn't help ending up with it still. I knew this would happen to me..everybody goes through this..i just didn't expect he'd be the one to cause this..of all people.

It taught me things though...

• never assume anything
• a person is capable of hurting the other without him noticing it
• consider the thought of losing that special person
• listen to what your mind is telling you

But aside from the heartache he's given me, I still consider myself lucky. Because he came into my life and made me stronger. He taught me to love myself more than anything else.

So, while I'm typing this blog entry, my bitterness, sadness and heartache are slowly fading...

Maybe God just wants me to realize that he's not the right guy for me. : )

One more thing, not all heartaches should end with tears and bitterness. It could also end with a smile and appreciation for that person, just like now... : )